Sending Love This Christmas

Sending love to those who are…❤️🤍💚

And suddenly, my heart filled with faces, memories, and moments that don’t always make it into the holiday highlight reel.

This Christmas is a tough one—for more reasons than I can neatly wrap or explain.

I am miles and states away from my family today, feeling the ache of distance in a way that feels heavier during the holidays. There’s something about Christmas that magnifies absence. The empty table feels louder. The quiet feels deeper.

And then there is Wynter Belle.

Circa Christmas 2023

I miss her in a way that lives in my body, not just my heart. I pray she’s somewhere warm, laying in the sun, taking a long nap, completely at peace and happy. I imagine her light unburdened, free, running and playing in the grass filled with sunflowers.

When I look at the candy cane hearts in the image, six of them run straight through my soul.

This time of year has always been delicate for me. My nervous system knows before my mind does. It begins missing Latanya instinctively, like a seasonal memory stored deep in my cells. Conversations replay in my head. Her voice. Our laughter. The heaviness of those last weeks.

She didn’t want me to come to the hospital because I was so sick—my cells still new, my body fragile. We talked daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. Those calls were lifelines, and yet there are moments I still grieve—the ones I missed, the time in Hawaii I couldn’t show up.

I’m still learning how to forgive myself. My body.

The hole always opens around the holidays. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, to New Year’s, to the day she left this realm, and all the way to my birthday—it’s a stretch of time that asks more of me than I sometimes have to give. It’s a lot. And pretending otherwise has never helped.

So if this season feels heavy for you, please know—you are not alone.

Be sensitive with one another. Some people are carrying grief. Some are navigating trauma. Some are doing their best just to make it through the day. Kindness costs nothing, but it can mean everything.

If today feels hard, here are four gentle ways to enjoy the day in spite of it all:

1. Honor what’s true.

   
   

   You don’t have to force joy. Light a candle, say a name out loud, cry if you need to. Honoring your truth is an act of love.

   
   

2. Create a small ritual.

   
   

   A walk, a favorite song, a meal that comforts you—simple moments can anchor you when emotions feel unsteady.

   
   

3. Connect softly.

   
   

   One meaningful text. One voice message. One shared memory. You don’t need a crowd—just presence.

   
   

4. Rest without guilt.

   
   

   If surviving is today’s win, that is enough. Rest is not weakness; it’s wisdom.

To everyone grieving, struggling, missing someone, or simply trying to hold it together—sending you love, especially to the parts that feel unseen.

Be kind. Be gentle. Be patient—with yourself and with others.

Stay Connected at https://msha.ke/monjournee

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays 🤍

🎶 Holiday Bells by Scott Dugdale