Whew! Some messages hit deep. To the core.
Honor the friendships that hold patience for you while you're healing, the ones that view your low phases as lessons you need to learn for the betterment of the connection, the ones comfortable with giving you as much time as you need while you slowly find you again.
Recognizing that each of us have slightly different views and definitions of friendship...I believe that the majority of us can identify with most of the concepts in this message. There are a few key words that are in the variations of our definitions.
Patience • Lessons • Connection • Comfortable
Here is my stab at the definition of friendship at a high level:
Friendship is a close and enduring relationship between two or more people characterized by mutual affection, trust, understanding, and support. Friends often share common interests, experiences, and emotions, and they provide each other with companionship, empathy, and encouragement in both good times and bad. True friendships are built on respect, loyalty, and a sense of shared values, fostering a deep sense of connection and companionship between individuals.
Did you know that research shows evidence from 148 research studies reveals a 50% higher survival rate among individuals with strong social connections. To put it another way, lacking friends is associated with an elevated risk of mortality, regardless of factors such as age, gender, health status, or cause of death.
I'm participating in a small group at Saddleback Church about rediscovering the lost art of friendship. The lessons have allowed me to start a healing process during a time of mourning that I didn't imagine myself in...again. Over the past 5 years I have lost relationships that I honestly thought would always be there. Blind sided with hurt, confusion, shame, just to name a few. The losses have taken a toll not only on my mental health but my physical as well.
A couple of my dear friendships have transitioned to the next phase of their journey. RIH Latanya. Kristi. Jason. Others were seasonal, transactional, and one-sided. Lessons needed to make me the best version of myself possible. I needed the experiences that I've had on my journey. Those experiences are now memories, lessons, red tattoos, and ultimately blessings that I need in order to serve my true purpose in this realm.
Knowing this doesn't make the grieving process end. Yet it does make it easier to understand and allows grace as I mourn the relationships that are no longer in my life. I'm often emotional about them and have been trying to allow the universe to bring clarity and understanding to my soul so that the physical pain subsides and fade.
Through scripture, podcasts and small group discussion I am in the right direction. I am creating a safe space for me vs expecting to find a safe space in others. Developing, creating and defining boundaries in relationships that align with my soul and spirit. I also recognize in my moment of reflection that I have focused more on relationships that I thought I needed and didn't nurture the ones that were authentic and already aligned with my soul. Whew! Realizing this now puts such a different view on the entire journey. A pivot moment for sure!
As my eyes open and the sun starts to shine bright again, I am realizing so much about friendship. My role. And what is needed for me as I continue on my journey in this realm. I am in a season of forgiveness. A season of understanding. And a season of grace. Taking time to love and appreciate those that want to be in a relationship with me. That has definitely been my main hiccup in the past.
When I reflect on the message in the main image, I do my best to show up for my friends and loved ones, with the level of passion and intensity shared in the message. I hold space for them. Loving deeply and truly taking the time to see them. Sawubona!
I encourage you to listen to the podcast series Rediscovering The Lost Art of Friendship. Trust me, you will thank me later. It will make you pivot. ✨
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